i wrote this for you.
and whenever i face one of those difficult days, i recount to myself what it would be like, a year from now -another chapter closed, another life begins. a dream no longer deferred, but experienced and lived. a life, happiness that prevailed.
and suddenly, amidst the envisioned bliss and profound gratitude, memories from the year’s past flash in a kind of mental cacophony. the deafening anguish that silences all hope for my future self.
To love each other more than you need each other.that’s good advice to carry with. For always.
Unchanged.
And so I fell in love with you, always with a feeling-doubt, deep down -that there was very little chance of my being with you for always.
I often used to dream about you — vivid dreams with clear-cut stories. In these dreams, you were always searching desperately for me. We were in a kind of labyrinth, and you would come almost up to where I was standing. ‘Take one more step! I’m right here!’ I wanted to shout, and if only you could find me and take me in your arms, the nightmare would end and everything would go back to the way it was. But I was never able to produce that shout. And you would miss me in the darkness and go straight ahead past me and disappear. It was always like that.Haruki Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (via align)
(Source: honeypetal, via sleepanddream)
pangs of pain i never saw coming.
maybe it’s a little too late. hope i’ll see you next semester, then.
who decides who lives or dies?
why do bad things happen to good people?
(Source: gloryszabo.com, via ireadintothings)
the sense of an ending… is often most unbearably sad.
it is about loneliness and the casual savagery of fate; the tragic gap between youthful aspiration and the compromises that we end up tolerating.
“oh darling, he doesn’t love you and that’s hard to hear but…”
of course, i didn’t hear anything past that.
i have forgotten all there is to remember.
i found myself at a precipice, wanting to jump.
sobbing, my whole body shaking in fear and in regret, because i knew i would never have the courage to take that leap.
how would our lives have changed?
how would our lives change?
i must stop beating myself up for the things that i cannot help but happen.
I think it’s possible that I will you into being in my life… I always think about you when things aren’t going well.
(Source: gloryszabo.com, via ireadintothings)
pour vivre heureux vivons cachés.